why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Like if you like big tits.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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The WNBA

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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5

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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