Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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bob saget

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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