guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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fart+fart=poop

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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