whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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BOOBALANBOO

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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1 Jew XD

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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american government

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this is gay

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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