How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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