What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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Good boy

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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KKK

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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123 Main street

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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