what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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123 Main street

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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The Pope

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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What do you call a tall Asian Tall

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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