What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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whats your name? bumder:)

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Your social life.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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How old is victor? Old

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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What did I do last night?work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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