How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Girls Basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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