How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

Do you believe this will change?

why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

who is awesome? no one...

two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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