How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

God

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

thumb_up thumb_down +143

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -143

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops