Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Mitch

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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