God

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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