So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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she wasn't 18

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Mrs. Welsh

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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