What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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The WNBA

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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