Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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