What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

What's 4+7 47

your a towel.

9001

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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