What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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Civil Rights.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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