What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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What's 4+7 47

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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for keeps?

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Proof reading

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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