Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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Drunk irish man

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops