How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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I am on a escalator.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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