What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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No. Yes.

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THE GAME

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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I am a n1gger.

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What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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