a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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1 + 1 = 3

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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i like tits

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Anti-joke.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Win and Beau have no friends

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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rape that shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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