Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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I saw a shovel once.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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I hate blackniggers

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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YOLO.

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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