There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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bitches be crafty.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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That's not what she said.

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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