What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down

010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops