How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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Civil Rights.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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Leave her alone...

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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