How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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