An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

liam buchan is gay !

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Enchilada

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops