What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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Penis.

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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