So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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Knock knock, Come in...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops