Why did the man fall down? He got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm a like whore

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

fjdkhg

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whos breath stinks and mas in jail. Bomber Neville

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops