How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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