its my money!, but i dont need it right away

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

Ouch.

how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

A baby seal walks into a club...

R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

i can't stand cripple jokes

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

What is funny about family guy?the jokes

Stop being a centipede

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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