Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Women's Rights.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops