Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Comedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +21

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops