A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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