Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hearpin my durp

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Seth stock has a large penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops