Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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The Holocaust

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Cows go moo.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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