how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

A disabled man walks into a bar.

WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

what did one tree say to the other? move over

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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