what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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