My mom caught me masturbating.

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What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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I am a nigger.

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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