Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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who is awesome? no one...

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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