Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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Leave her alone...

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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You have cancer

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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