Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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