A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Womens rights

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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