Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Mitt Romney.

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Justin Bieber having an erection.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops