How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

Womens rights.

knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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