What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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