Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know a black girl named beyonca.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops