Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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*prepares this to get negged*

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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want a balloon? yeah

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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