Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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I'm a like whore

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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I saw a shovel once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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