There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Meow.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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penis

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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what time is it? 3:16

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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