An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

What's worse than cancer? Death.

Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

conrad profit

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...