What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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matt shut up

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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