ObamaCare

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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pizzano is a tool.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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matt shut up

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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