Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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matt shut up

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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