How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops